Family LawNewsTips on navigating your separation with children

Separating with your partner can be difficult to navigate-particularly when children are involved. Once you or your partner have made the tough decision to separate, you are then required to negotiate child custody or care arrangements for your children.

See below three tips to navigating negotiations after separation.

Be child focused

It is extremely important to focus on your child’s or children’s needs throughout the period of separation and while negotiating parenting arrangements. Inevitably your children will experience change after separation, however how you and your ex partner manage this change will significantly impact on how your child will cope.

When establishing a post separation parenting arrangement for your child, it is important to factor in the following practical realities:

1. The age and development of your child or children;
2. your child or children’s school, day care or kindergarten timetable as well as their extracurricular activities;
3. the distance between your respective residences;
4. your respective work schedules; and
5. the number of change overs that your children will be required to effect each week.

Remember when negotiating parenting arrangements, the arrangement should be in the best interest of the child/ren. Factoring in the above practical realities will assist you agree to an arrangement that is beneficial to yourself, your partner, and your child/ren.

Managing your emotions and appropriate

A key thing to remember when navigating parental disputes is to remain courteous and not let your emotions get the better of you. Engaging in a text message war with your ex-partner may make you feel better in the moment but will likely not improve your coparenting relationship.

When you send an email or a text message to your ex-partner think about how that message would look if produced to the court.

Communicating appropriately with your child/ren around your separation is also vital, while it is important to be honest with your child/ren about your separation, you should avoid speaking negatively about their other parent or involving your children in the parenting dispute and other “adult” matters.

Always remember, your child/ren loves you both and does not need to hear anything upsetting or negative about their other parent.

Be realistic

In this particularly confusing time, it is important that you are realistic about the outcome of your parenting dispute. It is unlikely that either you or your ex-partner will be completely satisfied with the parenting arrangement, but compromise is necessary. Remember that a parenting plan should be designed to put your child/ren’s needs first and there are no winners in a parenting and custody disputes.

At SLF Lawyers we focus on the best outcome for you and your children, should you have questions about navigating through this particularly confusing time, please contact our offices for a consultation.

Article written by Bridget O’Kane of our Melbourne office. Please reach out to our Family Law team if you require any assistance.